Saturday, June 29, 2013

March 5th, 2011. Saturday


Day 15, a letter to Severus Snape

Dear Snape,
I'm sorry this letter is a day late, I'm afraid that yesterday was
rather busy.

The world seems to be changing really fast in so many ways.
I hope that it completely metamorphosizes into a much better,
hopefully perfect world.
That'd be nice.

We watched Signs with a couple of friends last night. I actually
liked it, though the aliens came back to haunt me when I was
trying to sleep.
I don't get nightmares from movies anymore, but I do have a
very vivid imagination and a certain amount of gullibility.
I got over it eventually. The need to pee overrode my fear.
Sometimes I really can't believe what I can make myself
believe. (Oxymoronic, I know.)

I'm sorry for how you were treated most of your life, Snape.
You really had a hard one.
An you want to know what? I still believed in you, even after
it looked like you had killed Dumbledore in cold blood.
I still believed that you could be good. You really weren't one
of my favorite characters at first, but you grew on me. I began
to sympathize with you, and, really, the good you did overrode
the (sometimes unintentional) bad.

You really aren't all that bad of a character, you may even
be lovable.

Love,
Amoniel

Friday, June 28, 2013

Storm clouds

Hasn't rained yet, though. But the wonder of it all!

Perspective in Life


"When we look at a cup that is set down between two of us, we have the feeling that we are looking at the same cup, though actually, that is not so. You look at the cup with your vision, and from a certain angle. Moreover, you see it in the rays of light and shadows that come from you side of the room. This applies equally to me as well. In a very rough sense, we proceed to separate the reality of the situation by entertaining the idea that we both see the same cup. This is what I mean by the fabrication of ideas.
"In the same way, we assume that there exists a world which you and I experience in common with all other human beings, that this world existed prior to our births, and that it will continue to exist even after our deaths. But again, this is nothing more than an idea. Not only that, we wind up thinking that we live and die within this world of fabrication. This is an utterly inverted way of looking at one's life. My true Self lives in reality, and the world I experience is one I alone can experience, and not one anyone else can experience along with me. To express this as precisely as possible, as I am born, I simultaneously give birth to the world I experience; I live out my life along with that world, and at my death the world I experience also dies."
~How To Cook Your Life: From the Zen Kitchen to Enlightenment, Dōgen's classic Instructions for the Zen Cook with commentary by Kōshō Uchiyama Rōshi 

Wow, talk about personal responsibility. There's got to be something deeper to this as well, deeper than "your life is what you choose it to be, what you see it to be" that I understand at the moment. This is one I'll have to think over for a very long time. 
You've got to admit your life has a direct effect on other people's lives, whether they're your little sister, your great aunt, the lady at the check out counter in Wally mart, or the little girl who made the fashionable t-shirt you just purchased. And that's not even factoring in grandchildren or the people who will live in your house in the future, after you've moved out. 
But the world is how I see it? Entirely unique to me? That makes a lot of sense, even though that starts to feel a little lonely when I start to think about it a little too much. 

Thursday, June 27, 2013

March 3rd, 2011. Thursday

Day 14, a letter to Remus Lupin

Dear Lupin,
I can't think of much to say to you, I'm afraid.
Though abstract things come to mind, such as chocolate, squid, and your face.
Grindylows have always seemed squid-like to me. And as for the chocolate and your face, those are pretty self-explanatory, the first thing you gave to Harry was a piece of chocolate after the dementor had been hanging around the train.

You're the coolest werwolf I've ever heard of. And it makes me sad that your life was cut short, no more do any of the marauders wander this Earth, alone or together. Coolest teen clique (group, whatever you want to call it) ever.
You just don't get people like that any more.

I've always wondered what it would have been like to be taught by you, you were probably the best Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher to come through Hogwarts after the position was cursed. Though Barty Crouch Jr. was pretty good, he did practice the dark arts after all. That was a very interesting little plot twist. Did you smile to yourself a little when you heard that one? It was kind of funny.

I can't wait to read Jo's new book concerning the Marauders, it sounds awesome! It'll be just as if you guys were all alive still. And I'm so very glad JK'll be picking up the magical world she introduced in Harry Potter again.

Anyways, thanks for reading. You'll be in my heart always, as you are one of my favorite characters.

Love,
Amoniel


You Still Aren't Quite Getting The Idea Of How Very Tiny They Are


You see this? This is a quarter. You know what size a quarter is right? Good.


You see these? These are Bobwhite Qail chicks. We just got them yesterday ^^ 


This is a photo of the quarter by the chicks. Now you're getting the idea of how small they are. When my brothers were going into the hardware store to buy them, my mom was explaining how small they were. She actually underexagerated. 


Chicks, tiny chicks. My brothers named most of them yesterday, but they only remember a couple names; Bob W White, Bite Sized white (all of them have White as a last name) and my mom just named one Q White. (Startrek fan talking here, a moderate fan, but she is rather smitten with the character of Q) 


And here is the quarter all alone in the corner. The chicks are really shy and don't really like people. Or people's things. Or people looking at, touching, or photographing them. 
You get the idea. 
Cute, but not very cuddly, or cuddle-able. 

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

March 2nd, 211. Wednesday


Day 13, a letter to Rubeus Hagrid

Dear Hagrid,
How is Fang?
I trust your groundskeeping duties have been going well.

Today's been slow and long.
Long and slow.
I wrote a poem.

A lot of this past week has been long and slow. It's stupid.
I want to go somewhere new and exciting, and I want to
do lots of new and exciting things.
It doesn't even have to involve lots of money, it could be
sledding in a new location, or learning how to ski.

I think I want summer back. I can do so much more by
myself in the summer.
This winter has been mostly really dreary and melty. I'm
sick of slush and mud. I could probably sled happily
around town if everything wasn't so cloudy and mushy.

How's the snow up at Hogwarts?
I'm willing to bet it's a whole lot better than the snow
down here.

I hope you've been doing well, and I hope that you're
making friends with lots of students, you're a really cool guy.

Love,
Amoniel

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

A website to visit

Hello Human Kindness.org, almost everything is in the name. 
Dignity Health understands that, in their own words, "Humanity has the power to help people heal. That's what we believe. And that is why humankindness is at the heart of everything we do at DIgnity Health. Humankindness is what helps us all live healthier, happier lives. So join us in creating and recognizing humanity in the world. Together, we can use human connection to inspire a stronger, healthier world."
The front page features a variety of stories and photographs submitted by visitors from all over the world, stories full of hope, love, and humankindness. 

March 1st, 2011. Tuesday


Day 12, a letter to Minerva McGonagall

Dear McGonagall,
How are you?
I'm doing much better, even went to get milk with my mom today.
I enjoyed it, even though two of my sisters came too and that
hadn't been in the original plans as I had understood them at all.
But it turned out okay anyway.

I want to move.
Utaha stinks, stonecity has no community, and Snakepit
county has nothing to do.
I don't feel accepted my most of the people around here, and
that's how it's been my whole life.
I really don't understand why my parents won't move. They don't
like it around here any more than I do, maybe even less. They're
just scared, this is all they've known for a very long time, and
they're afraid of sinking our family in the act of moving somewhere.
I guess they figure they're pretty much stable where they are.
But the thing is, we're not very happy. What are you supposed to
do about that?

I'm not saying much about you in this letter because there
really just isn't much for me to say about you.
You're an animagus, I've always thought that was pretty cool,
but I don't like cats much anyway.
You're a pretty great teacher, and I think if I were to be invited
to Hogwarts, your class would be one of my favorites.
You were pretty well portrayed in the movies.
You were a great help to Harry, especially with his Quidditch
career.
You're probably making a top-notch headmaster.

That's really all I have to say, but I'll wager you already know
all that. That's why I don't much like writing anything in these
letters that starts with 'you'. I'm really just stating facts. It makes
for a boring letter and a redundant project.
But I also don't like talking about myself too much.
Forever searching for that glorious middle, eh?

Ah well, an end to make.
Thankee for taking the time to read this, Minerva.
You're an outstanding witch, and a brilliant person.
(there I go again...)

Sincerely,
Amoniel

I'm at a crossroads or sorts

I don't really believe in money, therefore, I don't really believe in anything it is hopelessly entangled within or can buy.
I don't really believe in college and the pieces of paper that is a college education's end and purpose. I do strongly believe that I can educate myself on my own and with the help of other people in my life just as well, and in many cases, better than any institution can. Institutions deal not in spirituality, family, community or nature, but in materiality, the workplace, institutionalism (of course) and mankind's development and constructs.
I don't believe in careers or the avid pursuit of money and material wealth, I am pursuing a different path in a different world. I make everything I can, and do without or obtain secondhand whatever I can't. Albeit, I buy personal items, but that may be about to change as well. It's amazing what we are capable of making with our own hands, though; most people have no idea! It's incredibly satisfying to craft and make and create for yourself and the people close to you and around you. We're missing out on an unbelievable amount of connection with ourselves, God, the Earth, nature and it's creatures; other people, and the very materials that make up everything in our daily lives by resigning ourselves to being mere "consumers". A closed loop is much more complete and content than some huge mouth spewing out immaterialities for more and more and more things.

I'm not actually absolutely sure that this path I'm on is the right one or the best one, but it's feels good, so I guess I'll follow it for as long as I can. 

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

February 28, 2011. Monday #2


Day 11, a letter to Albus Percival Wolfric Dumbledore
Dear Dumbledore,
I honestly am getting sick of how I seem to be telling everyone what sort of people they are in these letters, it's getting redundant. So I won't be telling any of that to you.

I wonder how it was to manage such a large school with so many students? I have the hardest time with just my seven siblings. Then again, you hardly did much, did you? Didn't even teach. What do headmasters even do?
I guess it doesn't matter, you helped Harry so much, even though he rather liked blaming his problems on you.

I think my eyesight is going, how do you think I'd look in half-moon spectacles?

I would like this letter to be long, I've been slacking so ever since I got sick. But I really don't want to draw this letter out, or make it no fun to read whatsoever.
I basically have nothing more to tell you.

I admire you and what you did with your life, you're pretty cool. (Sorry, I said I wouldn't be doing any of that, I just couldn't resist with the last sentence.)

Love,
Amoniel

February 28th, 2011. Monday


Day ten, a letter to a character of your choice.

Dear Crookshanks,
You're a cat.
You're not a terribly important character, but I find you amusing.
Your letter is late, and I'll bet that you, being a cat, are not in any way pleased.
I ask you to accept this fictional magical catnip mouse as my apology.
Sincerely,
Amoniel

Remember this?





Saturday, June 15, 2013

Garden and the day so far (Just because I felt like writing about it)

Ugh, so tired already.
I probably wouldn't have gotten out of bed this morning if my brother hadn't told me K. was in our driveway. She was gone by the time I had gotten out of bed and dressed. I called her and she said she had merely dropped by to give us a couple cartons of eggs, as she keeps forgetting to send them home with Legoman when he works for her. So everything was fine.
As it was, I was out of bed, and needed to water my garden anyway, so I got Torthadiel up and we both went down to weed and water for an hour. Yay.
My garden's growing well. I really need to take some pictures for the sake of documenting this (a little less than) grand experiment. My beans are up, though the rows are a bit bare in gaps, and I swear something's chomping the poor little bean plants down. I watered everything really thoroughly this morning, restrictions or not, heh. I'm rather excited about my lettuce, Mom had a few volunteer lettuce plants come up in her garden, and we've been quite happily eating garden salad every meal we possibly can :) Her lettuce is starting to bolt though, it gets so hot and dry so very fast around here, so it'll be nice when mine matures. My garden is half way shaded, so that might help a bit as summer progresses. 

February 26, 2011. Saturday


(Funny, I skipped Friday when I wrote this, and I skipped Friday again this time around...)

I really wish I wasn't still sick, this is really 

affecting my letter length

Days eight and nine
The Weasly twins and Cedric Diggory
Dear Fred and George,
Sorry this letter is late.

You guys are awesome, you kept Hogwarts a
magical place during umbridges reign.

Love,
Amoniel


Dear Cedric,
You were pretty cool.
You were really one of the only people representing
Hufflepuff in the HP books.
I respect and admire you a lot, you were very fair, kind,
and just.

Love,
Amoniel

Thursday, June 13, 2013

February 24, 2011. Thursday

20 day letters to Hogwarts challenge: day 7, Luna Lovegood

Dear Luna,
I am still feeling rather under the weather, though I feel much better than I did yesterday.
I'm afraid I rather put your letter off a lot today, because I'm not feeling too well.

Anyways, you are one of my favorite characters, I relate to you in a lot of ways. I'm a bit of an outcast too, though I'm not as crazily flamboyant as you are.

Luna, I really don't want to go to sleep tonight, I had such strange and disturbing dreams last night.
So many unfamiliar textures and feelings.
I think I even dreamed I was being squeezed into an increasingly small stone box. That was the dream that freaked me out the most.
I really don't want to have any more dreams like that.
I've had sick dreams that were cozy before, but last night's weren't, in any way, cozy.

I really want to recover fast, and actually, I haven't been getting this flu as bad as some of my siblings are.
As I said earlier in this letter, I feel much better than I did yesterday.
What a relief :)

So, on this positive note, I will end this letter to you.
Thanks for listening,
Love,
Amoniel

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

February 23, 2011. Wednesday


20 day letters to Hogwarts challenge: day 6, Ginny Weasley

Dear Ginny,
I don't feel so well today, so this letter will probably be short.

You're a pretty cool character, and I rather admire and respect you. I don't feel bad at all that you and Harry ended up together, you're perfect for each other.

Love,
Amoniel

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Sunset behind a foreground of dark trees on a hike











February 22nd, 2011. Tuesday


20 letters to hogwarts: day 5, Neville Longbottom

Dear Neville,
You truly belong in Gryffindor, in my opinion.
You are one of my favorite characters.
You did a magnificent job helping defeat Voldemort. Thank you.

I rather wish that Harry and you could have been closer friends; really, the only true, close friends he allowed himself were Hermione and Ron.
But I suppose that's his problem.
You did a great job in welcoming Harry, Hermione, and Ron back to Hogwarts.
I really think you helped bolster their courage; you helped them feel that their fight was not theirs alone.

I always thought you and Luna should have ended up together, though I liked how you became a professor at Hogwarts in the epilogue. That was perfect.

Thank you for being a friend to the golden three when they needed you.
Thank you for being such a kind, brave, and loyal character.

Love,
Amoniel

(As you well know, I am transferring all the posts on my other blog onto this one as I never use it any more but I don't wish to lost all the writing and work I put into it.)

Monday, June 10, 2013

The Fragility and Persistence of Life


Small fish spinning and flashing silver through the afternoon air
Like spent coins

Papa-san crouches barefoot on a rock, picking dead goldfish out of the pond
Summer is hot, and the pond liner is full of holes

One arches and flops in the ash on the ground in what once was a garden
Shocked back to life by his sudden flight

Another is living still as well; a small, bubble-like mouth hinging open and closed for breath
I release both back into the pond, weak, fluid and submissive


Later, a huge bird of prey wings its way around and out of sight behind the cedar and juniper trees circling the pond, too fast to see clearly or identify

Before we leave on a hike, my little brother gathers all of the spent, tiny fish into a small pile                   
Among long stems and narrow leaves of miniature white wild flowers. 

Happy Box Thoughts Numero Cinco

˙ǝpısʇno sǝǝɹƃǝp 0ᄅ punoɹɐ
Subject: Ghost in the graveyard and games the kids invented themselves
3/23/23
Nightgames with everyone down to Wynnie plus Dad, the brand tag on the front of his puffcoat glinting in the flashlight as we played searchlight.

Subject: Sundays are the best and Summer is here!
6/9/13
Hiking as far as we could go, stopping to climb a boulder and crossing an un-bridged stream before turning back, laughing and talking and singing down to the cabin.
My sister and I wove flowers in each other's hair almost the whole time.

3/13/23 Subject: We are having a Spring break LotR marathon
Watching the first half of Fellowship of the Ring with Torthadiel on my bed on my laptop. Talking and laughing, snuggled up amongst pillows and giant stuffed animals

February, 21, 2011. Monday


20 Days Letters to Hogwarts Challenge: Day 4, Draco Malfoy


Dear Draco,
The world is in turmoil.
I am experiencing hope and sadness at the same time.
The world is so surreal.
It's almost as if I'm not in my body sometimes, I have no idea what that means.

This isn't exactly what I'd envisioned for your letter. But does that really matter? I'm just going with the flow for these. Which generally means that I explain to you guys about how I'm feeling on a particular day.
I'm probably going to really miss this project when I'm done, but I guess it's really just beside the point to be thinking of that right now.

You know, I really hated your character at first, you were so poisonous and condescending. But I've come to sympathize with you. You were kind of just born to the wrong parents at the wrong time.
I was really happy that you guys basically made the right choice in the end.
I will forever respect Narcissa for what she said to Voldemort when they all thought Harry was dead.

I have always wished that you and Harry had ended on better terms than you did, those of polite acquaintance.
I wanted you guys to end up as friends, and your children to end up as friends.
Ah well, it ended better than it could have been.

Love,
Amoniel


(As you well know, I am transferring all the posts on my other blog onto this one as I never use it any more but I don't wish to lost all the writing and work I put into it.)

Saturday, June 8, 2013

February, 20th, 2011. Sunday


20 Day Letters to Hogwarts Challenge: Day 3, Hermione Granger

Dear Hermione,
            You are an incredibly inspiring person, and you are one of my favorite people to read about in fan fiction; there was this one story that I particularly like, it was about you and Draco. In the story, Dumbledore had decided to introduce a 12 days of Christmas-Secret Santa program to promote inter-house relations.
            You got Draco as your person to do gifts for, which you weren’t terribly happy about at first. But you warmed up to the idea, and you fell in love with Draco. Luckily, he ended up liking you back, so the story ended happily.
            I thought the story was really sweet, well-written, and creative.
            I don’t know if you’d approve of it or not, but I really liked it.

            This isn’t to say that I really ship you and Draco, I think Ron is the perfect person for you, and I like how J.K. Rowling ended the story with you and him.
           
            I really admire you, and it’s thanks to you that I can’t figure out whether or not if I’m a Gryffindor or a Ravenclaw.
            You make such a great Gryffindor, and you would make an equally impressive Ravenclaw.
            I wouldn’t quite make a good Ravenclaw in the astoundingly-good-grades sense, I think I’d be more of a Luna Lovegood sort of a Ravenclaw.
            My Mom says I would fit into Gryffindor pretty well, but I’m not sure why. I can sense various vague and lurking reasons, but they don’t really come into easily-understood detail for me.

            There is so much more that I want to tell you; my mind seems blank at first, but if I sit quietly attuned to my thoughts for a bit, things come crowding to the front of my mind, like so many vague and un-worded birds.

            I want to tell you that I feel surrounded by so much beauty today.
            I am happy; I am at peace.
            I am happy Hermione. I can feel it. I can’t say that I haven’t been happy in awhile; it’s just that I haven’t quite been aware of being happy.
            But I’m happy today, I’m happy now.
            And I’m very glad to have you to tell that to.

            Love,
   Amoniel

(Here's a link to the fan fiction story I mention in this letter:
http://m.fanfiction.net/s/1647744/1/Love_Your_Secret_Santa )

(As you well know, I am transferring all the posts on my other blog onto this one as I never use it any more but I don't wish to lost all the writing and work I put into it.)

Friday, June 7, 2013

February, 19th, 2011. Saturday


Twenty day letters to Hogwarts challenge: day two, Ron Weasley

Dear Ron,
I attended my great uncle's funeral today.
I still don't feel as if he were dead.
Do you ever feel that way about your brother, Fred?
How can it be that I can whole-heartedly believe that a fictional character is dead, but not my great uncle?
What could that mean?
Is it good?

My great uncle was, of course much more prominent in my life than Lupin, or Fred, or Dobby, or Tonks were.
I have some great memories of him, and I love him very much. And I'm not even all that closely related to him, I can barely imagine what it must be like for his sons, my second cousins, or his wife, my great aunt.

I miss him.
I've rather missed him in the past year and a half or so too.
He hadn't been in mush contact with the family these past two years.
Maybe that makes his death all the more unbelievable.

And maybe it's because I don't believe in death anyway.
Maybe that will keep him all the more alive to me.

Sincerely yours,
Amoniel
(As you well know, I am transferring all the posts on my other blog onto this one as I never use it any more but I don't wish to lost all the writing and work I put into it.)

Embracing the future of your present sometime past

I say this to you as you look in the mirror with sorrow in your eyes, no kindness wrapped around your body;

Remember that the lines on your face tell a story. Eyes, lips, cheeks, forehead,
And not just any story, but your story.
Please don't regret your own story: your own life, all the ugliness and beauty of it.
Remember why you laughed and why you cried, every tear and smile written in your skin,  all the love and pain you ever felt, the juxtaposition and duality of everything.
Remember the butterflies, felt so intensely then, now faint and unimportant. Queasy or otherwise, remember their soaring, swooping exhilaration.

Remember that the scars and calluses on your hands are a recording of all the work you've done.
Don't feel that you've done too much, or haven't done enough
Because you've done just fine, and you always worked hard, even if it wasn't your best.
Remember the things you've built with your hands, hard and toughened and twisted, and the things you've built with your heart, broken and repaired in gold and silver, to show that in breaking you have strengthened and become even more beautiful.
Remember the hands you've held, shaken, touched, harder and softer than your own, and remember the hair you've stroked in love, tenderness, or imagination.
Remember what you've written, what you've drawn, the simplicity or complexity or your own work, influenced and inspired by other beautiful souls and your own path.

Remember that each one represents a memory, the white streaks in your hair
Once dark and full or color, now salt and pepper, then white as snow, reborn even in age.
Don't regret the loss of brown or red or gold or black, but celebrate the length and depth of your long life.
Remember the boys, men and children you've loved, birthed, lost and won.
Remember the dreams you've had, abandoned in doubt or practicality, or fervently pursued and accomplished.
Remember the songs you've sung, in joy, hope, and pain, colors weaving and wending through you limbs and footsteps, binding you to and releasing you from the paths of others.
Remember the light you've known and the darkness unloved, but no less essential or beautiful or transformative.
Remember the hills, mountains, skies, fields, valleys, and crevasses you've strode, climbed and crawled; canyons are not impossible to climb, and contain both the high and the low.

Remember life well-lived, well-loved, well left, and be at peace now and then.
Know the truth in what I say, take it into your heart, and make it your own.

Embrace the past of your present and carry it lightly and well into the future. 

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Long Ago, The Full Moon Rose

 (June 3rd, 2012)







February, 18th, 2011. Friday


(As you well know, I am transferring all the posts on my other blog onto this one as I never use it any more but I don't wish to lost all the writing and work I put into it.)
20 Day Letters to Hogwarts challenge: Day 1, Harry Potter

 Dearest Harry,
The first time I’d ever heard of you was in a van driving down the mountain after a hike with my LDS girls aged eight to eleven group. I think it was called Activity Day back then, but I don’t know what it’s called now, they’ve changed the title so many times.
            The day was sunny, and I remember lush greenness flashing past the van on both sides of the road.

            My friend, Raphelita, was the one who told me about you during that trip. I don’t remember her mentioning much of magic, I just remember your name, and the image in my head it gave me, that of a very hairy man at a potter’s wheel.
            Now that image has been replaced with that of a boy with green eyes, a lightning-shaped scar, and shiny, messy black hair.

            I remember telling my mom of what I’d learned of you, and that I so badly wanted to read your books.
            She did not immediately allow me to read your books, one of the two times she’s ever told me not to read something.
            She read your first book herself, and she did not like how you didn’t trust in adults. I guess she feared it would be a bad example.

            Years passed, more of your books were published, and still I had not experienced the magic that is the world of Harry Potter.
            My mother somehow strayed into a conversation about you with my great aunt. She said that your books got better further into the series. She convinced my mother to give you another chance.

            I was finally allowed to read your books, and the rest is history;
            I once had a crush on you, but it fully faded away after the last time I read your entire series in a row, you are just a very dear friend to me now.
            I am obsessed with the deathly hallows symbol.
            Luna Lovegood is one of my heroes.
            I finally own the entire Harry Potter series of books, as well as The Tales of Beedle the Bard, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, and Quidditch Throughout the Ages.
            I also once tried to make a wand, but I’m afraid the result was less than satisfactory. I am no Ollivander, for sure.

            These are just a few of the things that attest to my fandom, –though I do admit that I am not one of the most obsessed of fans- with one of the most recent being that today I thrust my arm commandingly into the air and shouted “Accio br- Firebolt!” just as my sister appeared in the hallway to my room.
            I have since concluded that Torthadiel is a firebolt (or maybe she’s a broom?), and that I, after all, do have magic powers!

            Anyway, I want to thank you for your friendship, and for being such a unique and beautifully flawed character. You are one of the few that I truly loved, and yet really disliked.

            Your loving friend,
            Amoniel


Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Full Cycle Project

Full Cycle Project
I came across the story that accompanies this website on Wwoof USA here.



The Sun Magazine | The Undiscovered Country

The Sun Magazine | The Undiscovered Country

You remember those two quotes I posted a while ago? They were both from this article, which you might be interested in. It's rather beautiful, I enjoyed reading it :)

First Post On 'Letters To Hogwarts' Blog


2/21/11

I started doing this project last Friday, and I had not yet created this blog just yet then, (naturally) so the letters are about three days behind. I will write the dates they were written in the title, and will move the title down into the main post for those three letters.
I hope that you really enjoy this project, I am already!

P.S. I originally found this concept on Tumblr, here's the Tumblr post link that started it for me:
http://narcissablack.tumblr.com/post/2652817742/20-day-letters-to-hogwarts-challenge
Pretty cool.

(I shall soon be deleting my only other blog as it is no longer useful to me, so I am beginning to transfer posts from there onto Amoniel Musing. I won't do it all at once, so it shall take a while.)

complete bacterium story, 2nd draft



Once there was a bacterium.
            He lived apart from the rest of his kind by his own choice, this was strange, for bacteria are social creatures who live in constantly growing (or diminishing) colonies, living and working together.
           
            This bacterium very much wanted to know the purpose of life, and very much questioned the answer he was given every time he asked any of the other bacteria. He suspected that he might be given a different answer if he ever asked anyone other than his own kind, but he had never really come across anything but other bacterium just like him. He was also too terrified to venture out of his usual rounds in the small, soupy world he lived and swam in.
            He didn’t know much about what else was or could be out there. Even though this was what made him so scared and paralyzed, he was also desperately curious about the world outside his own.

            One day, (if you could call it a day, maybe it was more a fraction of the many cycles that dictated every bacteriums life,) as he was wrestling back and forth between his fear and curiosity for the unknown world that lurked the edges of his lonely routine, something much larger than him appeared on the edges of his consciousness. He thoughtlessly fled, uncaring as to whether the thing might be possibly friendly or definitely predatory.
            He was heading straight for the edge of all he knew, and would have stopped, fleeing for his life or not, if he only had noticed, but he was too busy fleeing the unknown behind him to have any thought for the unknown ahead.
            Still unaware, the bacterium quickly overtook his carefully plotted boundary and left it far behind, along with his pursuer, who had stopped stock-still, curiously, at the border of the bacterium’s familiar world.
            But he was once again unaware. Numbed by terror, and oblivious by nature, he raced onwards still, everything a blur to his frantic consciousness.
           
Completely spent, he finally directed his attention behind, the good news: he was no longer being chased. The bad; he had no idea where he was.

            If bacterium could hyperventilate, this one would have at that very moment of realization. Instead, he swam in rapid circles, faster and faster until instead of being small and rod-shaped, he was rather large and oblong and hollow in his middle, like a dog chasing its tail. Eventually, he came to a stop, and returned to his normal size and shape.
            Finally calming down, he noticed a steady, thrumming vibration, as if another bacterium was trying to get his attention, but the thing emanating this pulse seemed nothing like any bacterium he’d ever encountered, which, granted, hadn’t been very many.

            “Who are you?” The bacterium cautiously communicated with a dim pulse from his own body. He would have fled, as before with the other unknown entity, but he was too exhausted, and intriguingly, this new thing made him feel calm and peaceful. He had no idea why.
            “I am” The thing simply emanated, and drew closer, greatly alarming the bacterium. Before he had time to flee, he had been absorbed into the unknown being.
            And yet the bacterium still was. Still aware, still alive, even though now he knew what it was he had confronted; An Eater; something that consumed bacteria, something he had known from other bacterium’s experiences, but never actually met before.
            But why hadn’t his consciousness snuffed out after the Eater had consumed him? The bacterium was still conscious, still himself, but now, somehow, he knew that he was part of something much bigger and grander than just a single bacterium separate from everything else.
            He became aware of new things tickling the edge of his consciousness, concepts and memories he had never thought of or experienced himself; communication from the I am. (As he decided he would call it, it wasn’t like any Eater he’d ever heard of, though it bore a striking resemblance to the stories he did know.)

            Even though he had been “eaten”, the bacterium was still very calm. This was a strange feeling to him, after having been terrified of everything new and unknown for most of his life.

            I am came again into his consciousness, “ I am and you are,” it communicated, “But we no longer have the illusion of separateness; we are one. You are correct in naming us “Eater”, but also correct in setting us apart from that predatory creature.”
            The bacterium became aware of a warm glow, not really around him or within him, for though he was still himself, he was no longer anywhere. The glow just was. He had no sight, and had never experienced life through sight before. But suddenly he could see.
            The bacterium was still calm, albeit a little bewildered by everything that demanded his attention, and I am’s talk of “us” and “we”.

            Through the glow, images began to appear, much to the bacterium’s further disconcertion.
            “We would like to show you our world,” I am softly conveyed, “There are many senses available to forms of life in the entirety of creation, you have not experienced many of them, but to truly understand the answer to the question you seek, you must experience all viewpoints.”
            And with the images came sound, and smell, along with the bacterium’s familiar taste and feeling; even that sixth sense of inner knowing sometimes called “intuition”. The “third eye” is not a sense like sight so much as a better-developed touch that envelopes and knows the whole of the thing perceived.
            Even more senses ricocheted around the bacterium’s awareness.
            He began to understand the things shown to him by I am, even without a sense of self.


Worlds and creatures previously unknown to him crowded into his mind, their names and words somehow accompanying their images.
            I am was also pulling up every memory, hope, and dream the bacterium had ever had from his mind, and presently said;
            “You wish to know the meaning of life, but first I will tell you this: every creature’s purpose is different, though they all follow the same pathway; striving towards higher consciousness. This is something that goes on and on, forever and ever, and is once again different from one being to the next.”
            Throughout I am’s short speech, different images, sounds, and feelings flashed through the bacterium’s mind; first the touch of fur, feathers, skin, and scales accompanied by thousands of three-dimensional pictures of all creatures known and unknown throughout creation; then a bright point of light, and a feeling of great warmth and yearning; and finally, an image of a great, winding staircase, a snow-capped green mountain, and the darkness of space, stars twinkling and streaking by as if the bacterium were traveling at a great speed. He had never seen or felt any of these things, but he knew what they were.
            “But what is my purpose, I am?” The bacterium asked, his mind straining to take everything in.
            “Your purpose, dear one, is whatever you choose. The general purpose of your kind is to grow and reproduce and digest, as it is the general purpose of my kind to consume your kind. This is the purpose that creatures are often lost in, passing over the universal purpose of walking the path of higher consciousness, but that does not mean that both purposes can’t coexist peacefully in every creature’s life.”
            “Does that mean I can deviate from the general purpose to pursue the higher purpose?”
“Of course,” I am answered, “Your life is what you choose.”
“How can I do that? I have no idea where to begin, though I’ve been feeling around for the path all of my life.”
“You are already on that path.” I am kindly said, and the bacterium experienced the sensation of a hand on his shoulder (he had none), lips on his forehead (he didn’t have one), and compassionate eyes peering into his (he hadn’t any).
“You always have been, that is what led you here, to us. You must remember that you’ve always known all of this; that was why you had that wish in your core, to know the meaning of life.”
“Will I ever achieve this 'higher consciousness', I am?”
“Of course you will; you are and you already have many times already. Higher consciousness isn’t something to achieve and forget. It is the journey of ages, progressed over many lifetimes.
“Now is the time for parting; albeit not the kind you are thinking of. It is the time for you to become Yourself, though not separate, bacterium.”
The bacterium found his shape again, he was once more himself, and he saw I am before him, his shape rippling, and faintly glowing.
He found that he also glowed also, and his heart (though he didn’t really have one) leaped with a new feeling; joy. So many emotions all at once; he had discovered love as well after his strange and enlightening encounter with the being I am.

The bacterium set forth once again, with new eyes, new tranquility, new love; and a great eagerness for life, the unknown, and the journey that lay behind him and stretched on ahead of him forever.