Drag

Everything has
Lost meaning. The grass is sun
bleached, lies itself down.

Upbeat Whining: At Least, That is What I Tell Myself

The thing is, I don't want to live in a dystopia, I don't want to raise a family in a dystopic society. I don't pretend to be an expert, but books of that genre don't end well. Boy meets girl, boy gets girl and everything is wonderful for a short time until they get torn apart through horrible and inhumane circumstances involving a crippling, crushing government.  What could be more important and more dangerous in such societies besides love and friendship and human relationship in general?

In a lot of ways, this society feels like it is dystopic, and getting worse. However, even as I do my best to navigate the bureaucratic hell of emerging into adulthood, there are also bright, beautiful people growing organic gardens in their front yards, and other people building tiny homes for themselves and others out of reclaimed materials. There are organizations working for the betterment of the human race and condition, and individuals crying out for the inclusion of environment and kindness in all of our dealings instead of pollution and greed.
I'm hopelessly apathetic, but also detrimentally idealistic. Even as I despair for the future, mine in particular and the world's in general, I can see seedlings of change growing from the ashes of everything past.
I've had an allegory for many years now, related in the following paragraph, that I used to tell my mom whenever she was despairing about the direction the world was headed in. I'm not entirely sure I believe in it as much as I once did -I've gained experience and some degree of cynicism, but the allegory has become woven into my being, enmeshed within my thought processes and viewpoint;
Even as society drags humanity deeper into depression and oppression, there are vast numbers of people waking up and figuring out better ways to live and grow and cooperate. Humanity is in the midst of the creation of a new world, and destruction of the old. There's a graph in my head for this concept, a sort of crossing of lines, the gentle slope of hope and change for the better, intersecting the jagged line of corruption and oppression, fighting for every pinnacle even as it slides deeper into oblivion.
It takes time for things to balance out, and I know I won't remain unaffected by everything, but I can still hold onto hope and choose to see the optimistic light amid the sometimes overwhelming darkness. At least, that's what I keep telling myself.

Gripe

I hate February.
My dad can't stand January, but, this year at least, February is the worst month by far.


At least Listener came out with a new album. I'm just slightly ashamed that I don't know when exactly it was released, but whatever. I discovered it when I needed it. 

Malala Yousafzi on the daily show and activism in general

Oh gordy, with people like Malala Yousafzi on this Earth, why does it not seem like anything is getting better? 

Or more to the point, how the heck does one decide to be that outspoken in spite of possible consequences? 

It feels like there is a need for more people like that, it feels like that is what would turn things around. We are headed in such a terrible direction, and yeah, I can't see the future, but I've learned a little of the past, however misrepresented that may be, but I don't know enough to see if it'll all be okay or if we're just building the world of 1984. That is somewhere I do not want to be, somewhere I don't want anyone to be, friends, relatives, strangers, the birds and bugs and trees. 

But what is one to do? I am a person who is extremely intimidated by possible consequences. And I don't really know how or if not to be. 

(Link, if'n you want to know what the heck I'm talking about:">Malala Yousafzi on the Daily Show It is not that I am in awe of her, for she is doing what every human being can and ought to do, it is that I wonder why on Earth more do not)

Society forgets the old and wise, while the young and fresh are institutionalized

As the river flows-

On, or off, The eyes that see-

begin to fade dull

I'm putting a title here just so it looks like a legit post.

I've been feeling terribly out of sorts today.
I can't really pinpoint it down to one reason.
I'm just grumpy and sad, and maybe a little frusterated.

I keep snapping at my mom and siblings. It's unfair to them, because three-quarters of the time, they didn't do anything to deserve it.

And I was feeling so powerful and free for a few days.
Not so much now.

At least I have "Glastonbury Song" to keep my spirits up a bit.

Why am I feeling this way?