Tao Journal (New entry 4/11/19)

I started this thing back in 2011. I dropped it early in 2013, but today I've decided it is time to start learning about the Tao in its written form again. 
It's probably all really messy, and maybe I'll clean it up in the future, but don't count on it. 
(It is really, really, really really really long. Apologies. I don't really expect anyone to read it anyway, though. Mostly I figure this is a good way to back it up somehow and anyone's welcome to learn from it or help me learn from it as they will and wish.)

Tao Journal

Based on The Tao of Power, as translated from the Tao Te Ching  by R.L. Wing
(Most recent at the top from now on.)

4/11/19
Hello I am procrastinating final projects by being on here. But hey, I've been reading "the World's Religions" by Huston Smith, and I am not on the chapter about the Tao. The most surprising thing so far is that there is an organized church component to the religion. This should have been completely obvious to me, but I am naive and didn't even consider it. Interesting though.


5/29/14-
"The Power In Subtle Force"
"Those skillful in the ancient Tao
Are subtly ingenious and profoundly intuitive.
They are so deep they cannot be recognized.
Since, indeed, they cannot be recognized,
Their force can be contained.

So careful!
    As if wading a stream in winter.
So hesitant!
    As if respecting all sides in the community.
So reserved!
    As is acting as a guest.
So yielding!
    As if ice is about to melt.
So candid!
    As if acting with simplicity.
So open!
    As if acting as a valley.
So integrated!
    As if acting as muddy water.

Who can harmonize with muddy water,
    And gradually arrive at clarity?
Who can move with stability,
    And gradually bring endurance to life?

Those who maintain the Tao
    Do not desire to become full.
Indeed, since they are not full,
    They can be used up and also renewed."


    Is it futile to try to bring clarity to these passages as I have been trying to? I do not know. Perhaps it is presumptuous.

    The first stanza intrigues me:
        "Those skillful in the ancient Tao

Are subtly ingenious and profoundly intuitive. 

They are so deep they cannot be recognized. 

Since, indeed, they cannot be recognized, 

Their force can be contained."

    Cannot be recognized, but their force can be contained? How is that? Indeed, since they cannot be recognized, their force can be contained. At first glance this seems counterintuitive. But perhaps that is only because first glance takes in the wording itself, and not necessarily what the wording may represent. Like number symbols and what the numbers represent in real life; plurality represented by a single symbol. 

4/28/14-
Let us suppose that the Tao represents some celestial, benevolent law and being of the universe, like the western "god". I am hesitant to use that word, but it is essential for what I am about to propose. Let us suppose that "god" and the Tao are one and the same, two names for two angles of the same life and force. And let us suppose that god is changeable, fluid. Or that god appears to be changeable and fluid, when really god is like a river, all the same water over so many different rocks flowing in an eternal cycle over the universe, never the same but still one. "Confronted, its beginning is not seen. Followed, its end is not seen."
     God: the Tao; in all things, of all things, surrounding all things.
     What does this mean on the "will" of god? Would god have a will, or then, being of all things, would the will of all things be god's will, or would the will of all things be god's? Would it even be possible for anything to be against god's will? Would it even be possible for one thread to err in the loom against god's will?

"....Hold on to the ancient Tao;

            Control the current reality.

Be aware of the ancient origins;

            This is called the Essence of Tao.”

     This is all so much deeper than anything on the surface of mere words. 

     The simplicity of Lao Tzu's writing on the Tao could almost be deceiving, but really, one must hold both its pure simplicity and deep complexity in the mind at the same instant. 

4/8/14-

Really, the meaning of the current passage is comparable to “The written Tao is not the eternal Tao”. The Tao is indefinable, intangible, and impalpable. It is infinite, like a fractal, going on forever in all directions and all planes. It resides everywhere, in all things, on all levels.

I really am not qualified to write commentary on the Tao Te Ching, but it helps me to absorb the meaning better, so I’m not going to stop anytime soon. 

4/2/14-

“The Essence of Tao”

“Looked at but not seen:

            Its name is formless.

Listened to but not heard:

            Its name is soundless.

Reached for but not obtained:

            Its name is intangible.

These three cannot be analyzed,

So they mingle and act as one.

Its rising is not bright;

            Its setting is not dark.

Endlessly, the nameless goes on,

            Merging and returning to nothingness.

That is why it is called

            The form of the formless,

            The image of nothingness.

That is why it is called elusive.

            Confronted, its beginning is not seen.

            Followed, its end is not seen.

Hold on to the ancient Tao;

            Control the current reality.

Be aware of the ancient origins;

            This is called the Essence of Tao.”

This passage speaks on the immateriality of the Tao, its indefinition, immortality, and infinite nature. I don’t have much to say on it today. All I can think to say is the obvious. Maybe I’ll understand more tomorrow or whenever I manage to read the passage and write about it again. It seems pretty straightforward to me right now, I guess that’s why I can’t write more.

3/21/14-

Yesterday I had a revelation concerning fear and then I realized that I’ve been working on an essay dealing with the exact same definition of fear. 

Today I’ve further realized that the passage “Expanding Identification” is saying the exact same thing once more.

I thought I understood, but it turns out that what I was writing and what I was reading were not actually personal to me or deeply felt by me. Now that truth has become personal and heartfelt;

The things I fear scare me because they also attract me, they are things to which I want a specific, ideal outcome. The things I fear are often the things I desire, or, in the case of say, a driver’s license, they are the things I need or want. Perhaps this fear also stems from underestimating my abilities and myself.

This has been a helpful thing to discover and keep in mind this week what with applying for a job in Yellowstone, further complications with obtaining my learner’s permit then attempting to get a bank account and being thwarted in that, and anticipating entering a chili cook-off for fun tomorrow. Hopefully I can sort all of this out while remembering that I don’t fear the thing itself; I fear an unwanted or “negative” outcome, but to the flexible heart and open mind, what outcome could ever even be considered bad? 

3/13/14-

Botheration. I was going to just move on from “Expanding Identification”, but I decided to read the commentary before I read the next passage. The commentary really pulled a lot of meaning from the passage that hadn’t even occurred to me, and deals with stuff that I really need to learn right now, it begins “Strong desires that are dependent on outside events or on the whims and judgments of others will lead individuals away from the cultivation of personal power.” Well now, how’s that for a smack in the face?

            I’ve rather felt lately like I’ve lost myself in my quest for enlightenment, constantly looking for justification and examples around me. I don’t know if that makes much sense… I look for myself mirrored in other people, my habits, fears, problems, and quirks. I find it quite often, but I forget the meaning behind myself, why I am the way I am. I don’t behave like I do just because other people do the same thing for other reasons, I behave badly or well because of my own inner workings, and those aren’t even the same all of the time.

            I’m annoyed right now because it seems like I missed the point of this passage the first time around, before reading the commentary, but I’m trying not to be too frustrated because, as always, to each his own interpretation. It’s rather great how much I’m relating to Wing’s interpretation, though.

            I sense that maybe I still haven’t quite taken the meaning of this passage to heart, that somehow in speaking on it as I am right now, I am flagrantly going against the lesson in some way. I can’t quite put my finger on it, though.

***

“When we are selfless,

What is there to fear?”

            How profound that is. My eyes lit upon that couplet just as terror was bubbling up within me. Anxiety, fear or something. The happiness, pure, tranquil, complete, that I experienced yesterday evening was pretty well disintegrated by this morning. But the transformation of fear in selflessness, hmmm…

            That makes sense right now, having no fear in selflessness

            “By limiting external dependencies and moving toward emotional independence, individuals reach a state where the intuition becomes fiercely tunes and the instincts can be trusted.” From the commentary by RL Wing.

            I can’t tell if this makes sense to me right now. I’m moving toward being independent from my family at this time, but every step I take fills me with fear, and if I can manage to quell that fear and just take the damn step, whatever I’m trying to do just doesn’t work out anyway. But that sounds like being too tied into the self, doesn’t it? Trying to be all “independent”, and missing the point that all beings are Interdependent, no matter what. That’s just how all of life is, and humans are no exception. I don’t know. I suppose I shall have to dwell upon this passage further. 

3/6/14-

“Expanding Identification”

“There is an alarm in both favor and disgrace.

Esteem and fear are identified with the self.

What is the meaning of “alarm in both favor and disgrace”?

Favor ascends; disgrace descends.

To attain them brings alarm.

To lose them brings alarm.

That is the meaning of “alarm in both favor and disgrace.”

What is the meaning of “esteem and fear are identified with the self”?

The reason is for our fear

Is the presence of our self.

When we are selfless,

What is there to fear?

Therefore those who esteem the world as self

     Will be committed to the world.

Those who love the world as self

     Will be entrusted with the world.”

            Have we discussed this before, the expansion of the self to include all of creation? Or rather the expansion of the awareness that self is all of creation. The point is not so much to expand the self, which already contains all of creation, but to come to and expand your consciousness so you can see this fact and it can influence your decisions.

            This passage rather ties in with what I read in “How to cook your life” today, something about fortune and misfortune and the fragile façade of the belief in either. How nothing is neither fortunate nor unfortunate, it just Is, and the more you come to terms with that, the less you suffer. 

2/26/14-

I don’t think I quite get “Controlling the senses” still. So I suppose this shall be the third day of pondering that particular passage. (Too many Ps, love.)

            Something I came up with yesterday while conversing with my mom as she prepared a rich cake for my father’s birthday; The things we think of as bad; smoking, alcoholic drinks, and eating sugar, are not bad so much as highly concentrated good, and therefore need “intervals” in between partaking of them, so as to balance out their concentration. Perhaps this concept has something in common with the 12^th passage of the Tao of power, “The five flavors will jade one’s taste.” All things in life dwelling or existing as ratios to all else; the five flavors if taken without scale and moderation, drowning each other out and dulling the senses.

            Moderation and balance, don’t ya know.

Actually, it kinda seems like Lao Tzu is denouncing the pursuit of material goods in this passage, rather than whatever it is I’ve come up to explain it all, what with the lines “Racing and hunting will derange one’s mind.

Goods that are hard to get will obstruct one’s way.”

            I won’t say that I’m off track with what I have come up with, though. To each her own interpretation, yes? Which makes me wonder, what is another person’s interpretation of this passage, as viewed through his own experience? What might their interpretation of my interpretation be? 

2/25/14-

Still on the same passage, number 12, “Controlling the senses”.

            The line that stood out to me today is:

            “The five flavors will jade one’s taste.”

            Why would the five flavors jade one’s taste? Meaning just all lumped together they will become dull? That you must take them one at a time? I don’t know.

            Guess I’ll read the footnote from the translator in the book today.

            The last line of the commentary for “Controlling the senses”; “Those who are attached to little experience all.”

            Something to ponder on… I personally can’t figure out whether to exert my will or let things go and be as they shall. I’m (still) in that middle point between childhood and adulthood. God is changing, or my definition of god is changing, my philosophy of life is changing, has to change.

           

“The five colors will blind one’s eye.

            The five tones will deafen one’s ear.

            The five flavors will jade one’s taste.”

           

            In my attempt to experience all, am I cluttering my heart? Perhaps. Probably. I think I am beginning to better know what I truly want, though I won’t leave duty and consideration behind. I just really wish my sight were clear. I’ve wanted that for so long, I’ve tried to learn that for so long, but it is still clouded. Hopefully I’m learning to better use the tools I have for clarity of sight, like speaking with other people, praying, meditating, reading, and holding in my heart the principles of kindness, compassion, deliberation, and intent.

           

It is funny how opaque and yet perfectly simple Lao Tzu’s passages are. Perhaps I over think things.  I wouldn’t say this is always a problem, though, over thinking gives you pause and consideration. Perhaps it is another side to deliberation; a virtue to every vice, you know, something that pops in my head often; courtesy of my mother and the care she took in teaching me when I was eleven and angry. I repeat my mother a lot, actually I parrot both my parents. Sometimes this makes me feel like I don’t know my own heart, but I am getting better at balancing everything. Hopefully. If you listen carefully, you can hear everyone bringing their parents forth in mind and speech, echoing paternal or maternal advice and opinions.

           

In my mind, the way to avoid allowing yourself to be blinded and deafened and jaded by all of the things in the world and other people, material or otherwise, is to spend time in isolation. Maybe this is extreme, but I keep going back to that, like I need extended time all alone to sort out all of these strings. Still, I could be wrong in this wish. I tend to romanticize life. Life cannot be put on hold, ever. All of living is life, and all of life, living; work, play, love, hate, and loneliness. On the other hand, you can’t just run away from everything that feels uncomfortable, though, likewise, you can’t just force yourself to be happy indefinitely just because you feel like you should or have to because of duty or thinking “it will get better soon”. 

(10.3.11-2.21.14 down)

10/3/11-

“The beginning of power

The Tao that can be expressed

            Is not the Tao of the Absolute

The name that can be named

            Is not the name of the Absolute

The nameless originated Heaven and Earth.

The named is the Mother of All Things.

Thus, without expectation,

            One will always perceive the subtlety;

And, with expectation,

            One will always perceive the boundary.

The source of these two is identical,

Yet their names are different.

Together they are called profound,

Profound and mysterious,

The gateway to the Collective Subtlety.”

“Briefly, in the Taoist cosmology, the Absolute (the nameless) created a universe composed of matter and energy. The Tao (the named) is the behavior of the physical laws that coalesce matter and energy into All Things in the universe and direct their evolution.”

“When expectations are dropped, he mind expands, and reality expands along with the mind. Rather than merely perceiving where things are and where they have been (the boundary), an individual can begin to perceive the direction in which things are going (the subtlety). There us an obvious power in apprehending the probabilities of the future, but moreover, a subtler power develops – one that brings insight and centeredness. Individuals begin to sense their potential ability to direct events with the force of their minds. They have located the path of personal power – “The gateway to the Collective Subtlety.”

Comments: So, does this mean that I have the power to influence the ending of the world as we know it in a good way? I can make it so it doesn’t happen as horribly as we think it will?

I can influence things with my mind, huge, awe-inspiring things? It’s good to be a homeschooler, your beliefs are so much more grandiose and interesting.

I believe this to be true, and I will begin exercising this power deliberately. I say that I will begin doing it deliberately because I believe that I have been doing it all my life, without knowing what it is, where it comes from, things like that. I sent love to Haiti after the quake, because that is something I was able to do, it was out of my reach to send enough money to make a bit impact on everything, and it was out of my reach to travel there to help rebuild and stuff. I have no concrete evidence that I really helped, and I guess there’s just really no way of knowing if that sort of thing worked. I asked God to give the love to people who really needed it, because he knows all, and he could be the directing force for my gift.

That is all I have to say today.

10/4/11-

I decided to re-read the first passage of the Tao Te Ching today instead of moving on to the next. I really want to absorb all of this, I want to take it to heart, contemplate it, and philosophize it. I want to truly understand the Tao of Power.

This stanza in particular caught my attention today:

“Thus, without expectation,

            One will always perceive the subtlety;

And, with expectation,

            One will always perceive the boundary.”

So, I think the “without expectation” means to look at the world with an open heart, don’t expect to see anything, and you will see “the subtlety”, the things which aren’t immediately apparent to the human mind with borders.

“With expectation,

            One will always perceive the boundary.” Means that where you expect something to be, say, an obstacle, it will be there.

This is a rough idea, at the least.

10/11/10-

“Using Polarity”

When all the world knows beauty as beauty,

            There is ugliness.

When they know good as good,

            There is evil.

In this way

            Existence and nonexistence produce each other.

            Difficult and easy complete each other.

            Long and short contrast each other.

            High and low attract each other.

            Pitch and tone harmonize each other.

            Future and past follow each other.

Therefore, Evolved Individuals

            Hold their position without effort,

            Practice their philosophy without words,

            Are a part of All Things and overlook nothing,

            They produce but do not possess,

            Act without expectation,

            Succeed without taking credit.

Since, indeed, they take no credit, it remains with them.”

How strange it is to, in a way, have my words repeated back to me; or rather, to discover them again in many forms. I have said that darkness defines the light.

I think this passage is speaking about balance, that one thing is not whole, or cannot exist, without the other.

Opposites create, define, and balance each other.

When one thing is pulled into being, another pops out of the darkness to balance it on the other end of a cosmic teeter-totter?

****

A line that stood out to me in particular is

“They produce but do not possess”

That is incredibly interesting to me. It brings to mind something I’ve been thinking about for a couple of days before now. There is this Popeye cartoon episode in which Popeye and Bluto are operating diners on opposite sides of the street. Wimpy comes along and they both compete to win him as a costumer. At the end, they’re having this huge fight in which they are throwing things across the street at each other, things are flying over Wimpy’s head, he pulls a table out of the mele, as well as a chair and a bunch of food. He sits down, takes a bite, and finds that what he is eating needs salt. He reaches up a hand and snags a saltshaker, sprinkles salt on the food, and as he no longer needs the salt shaker, he holds it up above him and it joins the steady stream of missiles.

I’ve been wondering about how the last bit of the episode can relate to the universe, manifesting, and the secret.

How we can wish for something we need, it comes to us, we use it as long as we need it, and then send it back on it’s merry way, much like Wimpy and the saltshaker.

I’ve been thinking about how I can start treating the universe in this manner, by making stuff to send out into the world, and by giving the things I don’t need, want, or use anymore to the thriftstore, where someone will be able to find it if they need it.

I think it’s an interesting analogy, though it needs more thought and expansion, I’m sure.

10/17/11-

“Keeping Peace”

“Do not exalt the very gifted,

            And people will not contend

Do not treasure goods that are hard to get,

            And people will not become thieves.

Do not focus on desires,

            And people’s minds will not be confused.

Therefore, Evolved Individuals lead others by

            Opening their minds,

            Reinforcing their centers,

            Relaxing their desires,

            Strengthening their characters.

Let the people always act without strategy or desire;

            Let the clever not venture to act.

Act without action,

            And nothing is without order.”

The beginning is especially interesting to me; it rings true. It is something I have often thought about.

I also speak about it with my mom, although what we talk about is more along the lines of “money is the root of all evil”; it is hard to get, so it turns some people into thieves because they don’t see any other way out.

****

These lines don’t make much sense to me:

“Do not focus on desires,

            And people’s minds will not be confused.”

What exactly is that supposed to mean? It doesn’t make much sense, in my current frame of mind at least.

            “Do not focus on desires”…

Let’s see, I think that means exactly what it says, do not focus on desires; do not focus on what you want and need?  But when you tack on the second line, “And people’s mind’s will not be confused.”, it begins to make little sense. The second line seems to change the whole perceived meaning of the first line.

10/24/11-

Reading “Keeping Peace” for the second or third time today, this stanza in particular stands out to me as something that I need to take to heart and learn.

“Therefore, Evolved Individuals lead others by

            Opening their minds,

            Reinforcing their centers,

            Relaxing their desires,

            Strengthening their characters”

I seems like it speaks about how to deal with other people, but I also think that these are the things which leaders need to learn to instill within themselves as well. I did not see that before I began typing, however. Even though it stood out to me, it stood out as something I needed to learn within myself, but it is written as something which you need to do for other people in leadership. I think it is very important both ways.

            The third line also really stood out to me today;

“Let the people always act without strategy or desire;

            Let the clever not venture to act.

Act Without action,

            And nothing is without order.”

The meaning, and what I meant to say evade me at the moment, maybe it’s trying to say something along the lines of “Go with the flow”, though I’m not particularly sure that is what it means.

            Oh yeah, the footnote clarifies the passage in this way;

“Evolved Leaders know that their attitudes ultimately have greater influence than their actions.” (The footnote goes on to say more, of course, but that’s the bit that is relevant to what I was having a hard time understanding.)

            I see now, that is the meaning that was flitting ghost-like and slippery around my mind earlier.

            Bless us to bless each other.

11/7/11-

“The nature of the Tao”

“The Tao is empty and yet useful;

Somehow it never fills up.

So profound!

It resembles the source of all things.

It blunts the sharpness,

Unties the tangles,

And harmonizes the brightness.

It identifies with the ways of the world.

So deep!

It resembles a certain existence.

I do not know whose offspring it is,

This Image in front of the source.”

            Sounds like a cup, in a way.

            “It resembles the source of all things”, so, it looks like the Absolute, but it isn’t that exactly? How can it resemble the source, not be the source, but be a power of the universe? That’s kinda confusing. I’m getting the idea that the Absolute and the Universe are two different things, the Absolute created the universe? It could still be a part of the universe, if you ask me, even more so if it were the universe’s creator.

            I really like the middle stanza, it’s so pretty. There’s a beautiful sort of glowing simplicity about it, as if it promises the Tao will help with pain and disorder; the Tao will help bring clarity and peace to your world.

*****

            “It resembles a certain existence.

            I do not know whose offspring it is,

            This Image in front of the source” I think this bit explains more about how the Tao and the Absolute aren’t the same thing, but work together. I love the last line, it’s such an interesting idea and image, it speaks of an image while creating an image.

11/10/11-

“Holding to the center”

“Heaven and Earth are impartial;

            They regard All Things as straw dogs.

Evolved Beings are impartial;

            They regard all people as straw dogs.

Between Heaven and Earth,

            The space is like a bellows.

The shape changes,

            But not the form.

The more is moves,

            The more it produces.

Too much talk will exhaust itself.

It is better to remain centered.”

            The first two or three times I read this passage, I was very annoyed with the whole straw dogs thing as I had decided not to read into the author’s note. I only read the bit that explained that straw dogs are “an ancient Chinese custom wherein animals were fashioned in straw to be burned in sacrificial rites. There was no emotional attachment to these images; they simply performed a cultural function.”

            Personally, I think the whole ‘Straw dogs’ reference may not have been the best, it seems incredibly cold and removed, which I don’t think is the whole point. After reading the whole of the author’s note, I’ve come to the conclusion that ‘straw dogs’ is meant to mean that evolved individuals must be able to step back from emotional attachment, perhaps even all attachment. It helps one make much better decisions than otherwise, it allows one a clear view of the world, it’s functions, and whatever problems at hand that need to be solved.

11/14/11-

I read the 5^th passage of the Tao again today, and I thought that maybe I ought to mention that I’ve learned how to better center myself by chanting ‘ommm’ in my head. It’s been helping me calm down lately, and also to fall asleep quickly, even when my parents are watching a late night movie in their room.

            I’ve been thinking I ought to read “The life and teachings of the masters of the far east again, as I want to read about the orgin of Ohm. I think it’s actually supposed to be chanted “aaaaahhhh ooooo mmmmm”. Or actually, “Ooooo ahhhh mmmmm”, I think Mom says you’re supposed to pronounce the h in the middle.

            I remember the MOTFE books mentioning Ohm at least once, and it was very informative. I’ve been planning to read them again for a while.

****

            “To hold to the center is to listen to the voice of the inner mind – an extension of the mind of the universe. To follow one is to be in harmony with the other. This is the path to self-discovery”

            I believe this note is true, I find it to be true within my life.

11/21/11-

“Perceiving the subtle”

“The mystery of the valley is immortal;

            It is known as the Subtle Female.

The gateway of the Subtle Female

            Is the source of Heaven and Earth

           

Everlasting, endless, it appears to exist.

Its usefulness comes with no effort”

            Subtle behavior is the key? That sounds about right; subtlety goes hand in hand with centeredness, yes?

            I’ve been working on centeredness lately, in meditation and the like. I had lots of practice last night, as I couldn’t sleep. It was beginning to really irk me, I was on the verge of anger with god and my body. I practiced centeredness, as being angry from lack of sleep does not accomplish anything, it just makes it even harder to fall asleep. I was eventually able to fall asleep again as I concentrated hard on remaining calm and centered.

            I’d never really tried such an exercise before in that kind of a situation.

11/22/11-

            Reading the sixth passage, “Perceiving the subtle” again.

           

“Everlasting, endless, it appears to exist.

            Its usefulness comes with no effort”

            The last two lines are significant to me today because I feel like all or many aspects of my life are interwoven with each other, effortlessly. It takes no planning or effort on my part, my job is merely to observe and take notice in my interactions with individuals and medias within my life.

            I actually commented on this fact in my email to Benson yesterday, and I’ve mentioned it in one form to Raven.

            I find my life very interesting in a lot of respects, though I still yearn for more, and I really have very little idea as to what I’m supposed to do, what my life is for. Is there even a purpose at all? The meaning of life, a question pondered by many in all-encompassing and personal points of view.

11/23/11-

“The power of selflessness”

“Heaven is eternal, the Earth everlasting.

They can be eternal and everlasting

Because they do not exist for themselves.

For that reason they can exist eternally.

Therefore, Evolved Individuals

            Put themselves last,

                        And yet they are first,

            Put themselves outside,

                        And yet they remain.”

Is it not because they are without self-interest

            Humility, selflessness. Dis-attachment from the self. Head cocked to the side as I ponder the depths and shallows of this philosophy, this passage. I feel it to be true, I find that when I detach myself -from really anything, whatever was once difficult becomes easy, effortless, if you will.

11/29/11-

“Noncompetitive values”

“The highest value is like water.

The value in water benefits All Things,

            And yet it does not contend.

It stays in places that others disdain,

            And therefore it is close to the Tao.

The value in a dwelling is location.

The value in a mind is depth.

The value in relations is benevolence.

The value in words is sincerity.

The value in leadership is order.

The value in work is competence.

The value in effort is timeliness.

Since, indeed, they do not contend,

There is no resentment.”

            First of all, I would like to speak of the seventh passage, which I read over again today before I moved on to the eighth; ‘The power if selflessness’, the seventh passage of the Tao, speaks of not so much having no self as expanding your definition of self, including all of the Earth in your version of ‘self’. I would go so far as to even include plants, animals, and ecosystems as being you, you being everything. True selflessness does not mean that you have no self, rather, it means that your self is all-encompassing.

****

            And no for the eighth passage; “The highest value is like water”… Interesting, I must think on this longer and further before I can even begin to find something to say on the subject.

12/2/11-

“The highest value is like water.

The value in water benefits All Things,

            And yet it does not contend.

It stays in places others disdain,

            And therefore is close to the Tao.”

“The values mentioned in this passage are values that can be attained only with a fully expanded perspective… With such a breadth of awareness, contention is unnecessary, for the instincts and intuition that develop as a result lead unfailingly to fulfillment.”

            I’ve been thinking about such things quite a bit lately as of yesterday, maybe even before then. I’m almost seventeen, I’m terrified of growing up, I’m worried about getting money for college, and I need a couple of pairs of nice jeans. I’m struggling, in my mind, at least. But this passage, the eighth of the Tao, is comforting and helpful.  I’ve been struggling too much when I should be easing myself slowly and naturally to where I need to be, where I want to be.

            For one thing, the only thing contention and struggling produce is stress, whether or not if they also produce results miraculously.

            For another, I’ve been practicing “The secret” for as long as I can remember, without even knowing what it’s called, and I have since learned one other name for it; ‘Manifesting’. I’ve also learned that it doesn’t work nearly as well when I obsess or worry, for one thing, that suggests that I won’t receive what I want, that I don’t believe in my or the Universe’s power.  It denotes a lack of confidence in the future.

            I need to trust God, and myself.

            I need to flow, to wait, to cultivate patience and faith.

            Thank you.

12/9/11-

“Transcending Decline”

‘Holding to fullness

Is not as good as stopping in time.

Sharpness that probes

Cannot protect for long.

A house filled with riches

Cannot be defended.

Pride in wealth and position

Is overlooking one’s collapse.

Withdrawing when success is achieved

Is the Tao in nature.’

            The last line speaks deeply, truly, personally. It means much, though it says little. It makes sense, though what it says is not how society works currently.

            Instead of a fish scrabbling to keep it’s place in the perceived waterfall of life and success, this passage speaks of a needle dipping in and out of the fabric of the universe, staying above the material only long enough to secure a stitch in place before diving back down beneath. The longer-lasting mark on the world belongs to the needle; The fish fights to hold its place only for reasons of the self, but the needle strives to strengthen and beautify the fabric of all.

           

            To stand only as long as the effect holds, and to dip back down below the threshold instead of milking the deed -the attention bestowed upon the deed- for all it’s worth.

1/4/12-

“Inner Harmony”

“In managing your instincts and embracing Oneness,

            Can you be undivided?

In focusing your influence,

            Can you yield as a newborn child?

In clearing your insight,

            Can you become free of error?

In loving people and leading the organization,

            Can you take no action?

In opening and closing the gateway to nature,
            Can you not weaken?

In seeing clearly in all directions,

            Can you be without knowledge?”

Produce things, cultivate things;

Produce but do not possess.

Act without expectation.

Advance without dominating.

These are called the Subtle Powers.

            Can I be undivided? What does it mean to yield to a newborn child? I yearn to be free from error, but do you mean that I can become free from error even in math? I think I can take no action, the question is, can I take action when it is needed, in the way which will benefit all? Can I not weaken? I am without knowledge, I know that much; I would like to be an empty vessel for all, I am already an empty vessel for much. 

1/12/12-

            Oh, it’s “Yield as a newborn child”, not “Yield to a newborn child”. That makes slightly more sense…

            “In focusing your influence,

                        Can you yield as a newborn child?”

            Hmmmmmmmmm… Something to think on, especially since I can’t quite grasp what it means to say. It’s there, on the edge of my consciousness, but it’s not clear, I don’t really even know how to word it yet. I wish I understood wholly.

           

“In seeing clearly in all directions,

                        Can you be without knowledge?”

            This verse is very much like what I was trying to say yesterday, about being nondenominational.

            And this;

“Produce things, cultivate things;

Produce but do not possess.

Act without expectation.

Advance without dominating.

These are called the Subtle Powers.”

            Lao really stresses the “produce but do not possess” line all throughout the book. I wonder if anyone really takes that to heart? For instance, I once met a whole class of students from China, and it was understood that the base religion there is Taoism, I wonder if the people who are born into it really take the teachings to heart? I rather think that people born into the Mormon religion don’t really take a lot of stuff seriously. There’s a lot of disconnect, for some reason. Maybe it’s because they just take things for granted, it’s all they’ve ever known. They haven’t tried looking into alternatives because, for one thing, they are discouraged from doing so, and for another they kind of have tunnel vision.

           

Do I produce without possession? In some ways, perhaps; in others, not so much.            I love giving stuff away. I love receiving.

But there are a lot of things in my closet which I haven’t worn in a long time, I am possessing without appreciating, when others will probably appreciate more than I do. I do this in the forsight that I will want to use the stuff I’m keeping again. But the thing is, there will always be something I see and like. There will always be more, and yes, I may want the stuff I’m not using again in the future, but in the meantime, I might as well put it in the position to be appreciated and used by someone else.

What a mess J

Anyway, I think that’s it for today, maybe I will be able to think and write better tomorrow, when, perhaps, less will be on my mind.

9/7/12

Still “Inner Harmony”

I think I’ve changed a bit since last year, or rather, the last time I read a passage of the Tao and wrote in here. I really do think I can produce without possessing. I used to take photos of the things I’d make before giving them away, but now I don’t do that unless I really want to remember or if I want to show someone else.

            I understand that this isn’t the only, nor the absolutely truest interpretation of that particular line in that particular passage. I realize that my interpretation will metamorphose and grow as I learn and grow.

“In seeing clearly in all directions,

            Can you be without knowledge?”

How interesting… I do wonder what that means, and how I can apply that to myself in a present and future tense?

I think I can see clearly in all directions, I think I can be teachable and flexible. At least, that’s the meaning I discern from that sentence.

9/10/12

Am I actually learning anything from reading this? Do I understand it in depth? I’m not sure.

            I think this passage, “Inner Harmony”, speaks about balance, “In focusing your influence, Can you yield as a newborn child?”; Focus and flexibility. Pretty much the first time I’ve gotten that? And so it goes for all of the verses.

10/16/12-

“Using what is not”

“Thirty spokes converge at one hub;

            What is not there makes the wheel.

Clay is shaped to form a vessel;

What is not there makes the vessel useful.

Doors and windows are cut to form a room;

            What is not there makes the room useful.

Therefore, take advantage of what is there,

By making use of what is not.”

           

            I’m trying to relate this to flow and form and feng sui, but I don’t think it actually has anything to do with that. I probably want to relate it to that because I noticed a correlation between music and your surroundings while you’re listening to it lately. For example, the kids and Benson were listening to Sigur Ros at the cabin when I got back with my parents last Sunday, and the music was unbelievably beautiful in those surroundings and that mood. I was so happy, and the music amplified and intensified my happiness.

            I tried listening to the same band again down at home, but the clutter and mess of my room didn’t go well with it at all. Maybe it was the album in particular I had chosen to some extent, but I don’t really think so.

            I think the music is simple and flowing, and so requires simplicity and flow of space in order for you to really appreciate it.

            What is not there makes the music beautiful.

1/14/13-

“Using what is not”           

            I do believe everything said in this passage tells you a lot about Feng Sui, which I think is from a whole different philosophy, but nonetheless, has a lot in common with the Tao.

Using what is not, the space in between physical objects, physical walls. The space that can allows flow and movement, whereas physical objects create the flow. The space between can be filled and emptied, an ebb and flow of movement.

2/21/14-

12 “Controlling the senses”

            “The five colors will blind one’s eye.

            The five tones will deafen one’s ear.

            The five flavors will jade one’s taste.

            Racing and hunting will derange one’s mind.

            Goods that are hard to get will obstruct one’s way.

            Therefore, Evolved Individuals

Regard the center and not the eye

Hence they discard one and receive the other.”

Back to the ol’ Tao Te Ching, I need some heart education to balance out mind education. It has become horribly apparent that I am not well-versed enough in human relationships and true compassion and understanding. Perhaps I am still taking a horribly intellectual approach to learning in this way, but it is what I know how to do now, so I may as well make good use of that skill.

So, on to the passage.

Perhaps it is about the quantity and diversity of choice, and becoming blinded and paralyzed by all there is to follow. It would make sense to warn against that, after seeing and considering all, you still must make some sort of judgment, yes? Even if you are so all-understanding and considering, some things will still be a better fit to you than others, and it would be good to remember this. It does not mean that you must vilify or be disdainful of anything you do not choose, though, and likewise it does not mean that you must be in contempt of any other person who chooses what you do not. This world is abundant; not the least being that there is such a diversity of choice among all things and people.

Is this heart-learning? I’m not sure, it looks and sounds a lot like mental exercise, but the Tao is the way of the universe and life, the way of the heart. This is not the only way to learn what I want to right now, but studying it along with other things will help to balance me out a bit more. And I need a grounded, serious heart-study, no more of this only and completely flighty and dreamy living and being. I also need solidity, intent, and deliberation.