Saturday, September 27, 2014

Freezing Swiss chard from my garden





Last Hurrah of Summer




The kind of perfect I'd like it to be

I would love all of your enemies and turn them to angels 
And place their hands in yours 
And you would walk through life held up by many people like a child with a handful of balloon strings.
I know you don't need me, 
But still I would make my arms into a bubble of love all around you, not to protect you from everything, but to remind you that you are so strong and I'm right by your side if ever you need me. 
I am not my own, but that's because I am yours and gods and my family's, I'm not one but a great many strings held up and holding others up in the beautiful swirl of god who is life and love. 
Nothing's ever going to be perfect, I came after happily ever after, and my siblings came after me; actually, it's all perfect, but it's never going to be the kind of perfect everybody thinks it should be. 
The kind of perfect I'd like it to be. 

Thursday, September 11, 2014

I Miss You Still

Well hello little corner of the internet,
I finished my work for today, and now I'm looking for a creative outlet that doesn't involve drawing ellipses.

Today felt like a disaster at school in some ways, I was feeling rather lonely and friendless again, and I had an insubstantial lunch which made Drawing 1 like so much fun, yay. It's really easy to learn stuff and do well in class when one is fainting of hunger and falling asleep on top of that.

I'm afraid I was still feeling pretty friendless when I went to Art Talks at six, even though I'd bought myself a sandwich and some yogurt beforehand. That was a good idea, though my awkwardness still clung on and it was made worse by the fact that the entire room was filled with people happily chatting away with each other. It was nigh unto deafening.
I did find someone I'm acquainted with to sit by, but she wasn't much inclined toward conversation.
I made the mistake of writing in the margins of my notebook about how I couldn't figure out how to make friends and I should try harder next week. I'm pretty sure the girl I was sitting by read it. Oops. Way to make an impression...
Oh well, lately I've become quite well-versed at fitting in. I was good at it before, but now I get to practice it around four days out of seven.

Hopefully next week will go better. I still enjoy my classes, though I seem to have arrived near the bottom of the hill, the place one slowly drifts to after the patina of novelty has worn off of the first page of a new chapter in life. (How'd ya like that mishmash of metaphors?)
At any rate, I will certainly do my best to eat better next week. Today was NOT fun, but as with all days, I learned. 

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Never Stopped Me From Writing Before

I have gotten out of the habit of writing. I'm afraid I didn't manage to register for an English class this semester, so I haven't been doing much more than writing notes and jotting a few things down in my journal now and then.
I want to continue developing my writing. Art, what I am majoring in, is actually not my first passion. My first passion is Writing, and the skill that goes so well with it: Reading. I'm not even entirely sure why I'm majoring in art, I love it, but ever since I was in my early teens, I figured I would major in English.
At any rate, I love both Art and English almost equally, so I would like to change my major to a dual major in English and Art next semester. I've told this plan to just about everyone I've spoken to in the past couple of weeks.
I'd like to get back into the habit of writing again, in preparation for my change of major, and just because I want to continue to improve in articulation and skill. I love writing, I've always loved writing, so why stop practicing it in earnest just because I don't have any classes in it right now? That's never stopped me before.