The Birds Dreamed Black

All afternoon the birds dreamed they were a kaleidoscope of colors

The blue jay was a crow, iridescent in the right light
With an earthy
Caw caw caw.
He lived in October,
Among pumpkin orange, mauve and saturated yellow
All the absence of chlorophyll.

The robin was a starling
Glittering in the sun.
He lived in June
With a nest of crying babies.

The peacock was a raven,
Deep deep blue next to a geyser.
He lived in October too,
But one of soft snow
And pearl grey.
Warm steam turning to cool condensation.

100 Things I Want To Do With My Life (in no particular order, ongoing and unfinished) updated 7/12/22

1-Take the ACT and enter college*
2-Love a perfectly fantastic boy*
3-Continue to improve my writing* (ongoing)
4-Draw with sidewalk chalk all over the road to create a treasure hunt for a random stranger
5-Hike to the top of Horseshoe Mountain*****
6-Dance barefoot at the prom*
7-Go off of a zip line*
8-Learn to drive a stick shift from my dad*
9-Smoke a cigar in Yellowstone
10-Take my dad camping in Yellowstone
11-Visit a foreign country, any foreign country* (Colombia! Chile)
12-Build a tiny home, with help or not
13-Work in Yellowstone National Park (Might be too late to ever accomplish this one)
14-Raise a family with a wonderful, humanly perfect partner
15-Explore all of the back roads of my home county* (Close, though perhaps not complete.)
16-Graduate with my associate's degree from Snow College* (Also got my AFA)
17-Know a ton of stellar and amazing people* (ongoing)
18-Stay out of debt (Easier said than done, though I've not yet incurred school debt)
19-Learn how to make delicious, healthy bread* (And then I forgot it)
20-Learn the art of healing (ongoing)
21-Learn lots of art* (ongoing)
22-Grow my hair out long* (onogoing)
23-Learn how to learn, learn how to study and how to teach myself*
24-Homeschool my children
25-Bring my children up close to my family

26-Attend a SUN magazine weekend writing retreat
27-Return to Colombia!
28-Have my own art show* (Had my AFA thesis show, had a duo BFA thesis show)
29-Become conversant in Spanish (Perhaps also ongoing, but puedo hacerlo un poco. Tengo muchos amigos con quien yo hablo en español)

30-Get a puppy

31-Graduate from USU with my BFA*

32-Procure chickens and also compost in my backyard* (composting (and feeding the deer) as we speak)

33-Publish a book of poetry* (Bottlecap Press, poetry chapbook, "All I ask is that we walk together a while". Purchase a copy here)

34-Learn Welsh

35-Buy a house/land on which to build* (have the land, time to build)

36-Boulder at Cherry peak

37-Get a Maguire Primrose tattoo

38-Win a personal grant for art work*

39-Get into the Springville Art Museum's Spring Salon**

40-Work at Snow College

41-Raise bees

42-Boulder at Joe's Valley**

43-Take my youngest siblings backpacking up Fish Creek

44-Have my own studio*

45-Fix up my 4Runner, restore it/surpass it's former glory

46-Design an album cover* (designed the cover for my brother Asher's music, listen on soundcloud here)

47-Do the art for a beer can release

48-Climb a 5.10a

49-Learn how to goddam budget well

50-Travel to Chicago

51-Climb a sport route rated 12 something

52-Get my master's degree

53-

Family Vacations

(inspired by an upcoming Readers Write subject for The SUN Magazine.)

The closest thing my family has to a family vacation is the annual trip we used to take to Yellowstone, but we stopped going as a family half my lifetime ago, if not more. It became too stressful for my parents to haul all of us kids to Yellowstone in our aging and less than trustworthy suburban.
When I was a kid, we used to stop at my grandfather's house before continuing on to Yellowstone. We'd stay the night and visit for a day or two, eating canned raspberries and pretending we were in wheelchairs, rolling over the carpet on my grandfather's barbells. The stopover cut the grueling drive into two pieces, more easily managed by hyperactive kids. In the years since then, though, my dad tackles the trip in one long drive. It surprised me, the first time; I had no idea Yellowstone was that close. I was a kid and I measured distance in time, and time can seem impossibly long, or lightning fast depending on how bored or excited you are.

My dad still goes to Yellowstone on UEA weekend each year, and he usually brings a couple of kids along. My two middle brothers went with him in 2012, and last October, my eldest brother and I got to go. That  trip cemented Yellowstone as a happy place in my heart, as a sort of home away from home. I had so much to come back to, but I was content and deliriously happy in that wild land. 

For many years Yellowstone was that place I visited as a kid with my family and with family-friends, but that last trip was different. That was the first trip I'd really taken as an adult, semi-independent, not just someone to take care of, and I talked with my father more intimately than I had in years. I mean, it's not like I could drive for my father, but we spoke as equals, and my brother and I had an equal say in where we could go. We didn't really have anywhere in mind, though, it had been so long since we'd last visited, we just went wherever dad wanted to take us.
That last trip made Yellowstone personal to me, an escape that made the world seem full of possibilities. I matured, and although I'm still not grown-up, that trip was a significant milestone in my adult life. From family vacation to coming of age experience, Yellowstone has always been a significant part of my life, threading through the years as far as I can remember. 

Happy Place