Tug of war (also very old, forgive me any unfortunate soul who wades through this)

I
Want you in,
keeping you out
building barriers I
expect you to break down

Holding you in my heart,
needing your presence.
Come hither,
But stay far away.

Like a moth to the flame,
Me falling in love with you.
Then falling out again,
I confuse myself more than you ever could.

II
Ever since I first met you,
I've been trying so hard not to fall in love with you.
Of course,
I have failed.
I love you,
But I know I can't have you,
I dreamed of a conversation with my parents, and forgot it by morning.
But it felt like they were saying I could not be yours, I would be in the way of greater things for you.
There was a vaguest hint of 'yet' in the dream, like a lingering whisper of "belum".

I know,
I know,
I know,
But I am so disappointed.

III
Struggling with my feelings,
I would not give myself permission to love,
And so loving you was painful.
It hurt, to love you.

I admit it now, that I love you,
And I'll probably love you for as long as I know you,
But it doesn't hurt anymore,
Love is a happy feeling once again

I love you.

IV.
You fell in love with my sister,
She loved you back
I write this in the past tense
Because she let you go

Maybe you still want her back,
You were so beautiful together,
You gave each other so much.
It made me happy to see you
Loving each other.