Not So Far Away: Sincerely Reaching Out In This Time Of Tech

It may no longer be the season of holidays, nor 2001, but this post by the coolest man I've ever met rings true even as the glove of winter slips from the slender hand of the year of our lord 2014.

Years

I had forgotten that I used to be taller than all of my younger siblings...
I do believe I shall even end up shorter than little Miya-ni and Ianto-lino.

Inadequate or Inevitable: wearing windows

Basically, little one, none of my words are adequate. Maybe they never will be. I am worn to apathy once again. This week has been a different sort of supernova and collapse.
A little bit dead-eyed behind my windows, and artificial pats on the back saying it'll be okay, I am okay, but really no. Still, I suppose it could be worse. But that does not mean my current feelings are rendered insignificant next to all the other pain in the world, relatable or not to my situation.
I am attempting to ground myself better, to stop dancing around everything and plant my feet and steady my gaze. Perhaps I will be successful in my efforts, perhaps not. The only thing I can count on is nothing will ever stay the same, not even for a minute at a time. I will always miss homeschool group, being in plays, having the friends I did back then. I will always miss scholar class. Perhaps I will find something similar to or better than everything swept away in the passage of time, but I won't count on it.
For all of my life I've felt like nothing was permanent, either beginnings or endings. Nothing would stay the same, and on the other hand, nothing was permanently lost. Things had a habit of returning to me; a necklace I'd made with my mom, lost, then found two years later in the pocket of my overalls. A hand-made tiara essential (I felt) to a minor princess character costume for a play, found two days before the performance. A black comb I bought at a fourth of July celebration, lost and found and lost again. (currently lost, but I hold to the stubborn belief that I will find it once more.)
I suppose it was my hope that the right words at the right time in the right shape could repair anything. I suppose that's been my experience growing up as I have with the family I am a part of. Naive homeschooler... How very much I am learning this year that the world is not what I want it to be. I guess that's good, or something. But not really, because it seems like the world wears tender souls down.
The clearest my voice will ever be is in writing, as much as I hold back from that when I feel my voice lacking. A slanting sort of truth and all that... Still, I am not the only one to ask the questions I have asked. As unique as we little snowflakes are, fragile too, we are all made of the same stuff. Perhaps this makes my words inadequate, or maybe this makes them inevitable. 

Happy Place

Psalm To Life Prayer

Longboard lover, 

Swaying, like a fish through dry desert air, 

I hope I don't take anything for granted in what I mean to say:

I am in love, rapture, with god and all of the world.

Love is everywhere, longing forever lit, 

If you look closely, I wear a dark visage of yearning beneath this pale skin and clear gaze.

Life is not the pursuit of happiness, either you are happy, 

Or you aren't, 

Don't waste life in seeking what is already present, 

Or beckoning so close. 

I am in touch with my forbidden fruit, though I have not yet tasted it. 

A shrug of shoulders, and we find that innocence is never lost, 

But expanded, 

Growth is not innocence destroyed or covered, but innocence maturing, 

Childhood is never lost, 

But instead, made encompassing, knowledgable, and gifted further wisdom as age wears on. 

Wave of Action

Ahhh, hope...

https://waveofaction.org/we-are-a-movement-of-movements/#fpgallery[176294759231015]/2/

Introspective Observation: buds on dead growth

It is strange to know that we're having fifty, almost sixty degree days in February. This month started out new-born in a blanket of white, but yesterday we played kickball with some friends at the old stone church, and I didn't need an actual coat until about 9:30 or 10:00 at night. I've heard tell that the cherry blossoms are blooming in Japan, and my dad's cousin's wife's flowers are already coming up in her yard up North. 

We've been about two months ahead of ourselves all year, in previous years too. Remember that June we had multiple wild fires all over my state? Utaha two months ahead and all that. Photographs of haunting sunsets and towering columns of grey smoke, white clouds of smoke boiling over our Eastern mountains. That Summer felt ominous and apocalyptic. But here we are now, roughly two years later, experiencing an early spring that feels like late fall in the winter. It's certainly something to think about, dear. 

The changes this world is going through --ecologically, politically and socially-- should be interesting to observe, and perhaps, to participate in. There's a lot of hope and beauty amongst the pain and corruption, growing in spite of or because of the things that seem so terribly wrong. 

I'm sorry

Paste Paper

So yesterday I learned how to make paste papers with a few of my siblings at a friend's house. It was a lot of fun, there's next to no limit to what you can do with this medium creatively, even if some people refer to it as "glorified fingerpainting", haha :)

My first paper

I created this pattern with a wad of plastic wrap

Handprints 

The last paper I designed.

I have no idea what happened to the color when I photographed this thing. The feathery splotches are white, not blue.

Gripe

I hate February.
My dad can't stand January, but, this year at least, February is the worst month by far.


At least Listener came out with a new album. I'm just slightly ashamed that I don't know when exactly it was released, but whatever. I discovered it when I needed it.