Underlying Emotion

I feel too deeply
My heart hurts today
I am tired
My bones are too long
and heavy and hard
Break down
Break
Break
Break

A beak on my face,
Everything is too hard to touch
Everything is brittle
And solid
The world is stone

My heart wants out
My soul wants away

But where would they go?
I have no idea
I am sick of wordless
Substanceless aches and longings

Structure is too constrictive today,
Physicality and materiality
Too much to stand

I feel stuck
Can't get out,
But why should I want to,
And once again,
Where would I go?

Pushing myself out of my own head,
Out of this world.

There's got to be something deeper,
Larger,
Brighter,
Darker.
More beautiful?

Set my heart free,
Freer than it has ever been.
Oh God
My God
Hold you to my heart,
Grow you bigger and bigger

Nurture and nourish the idea of you
Have you,
Need you,
Love you,
Create you.

Friend father mother sister brother lover child.
Mine and theirs and your own
His and hers
Its.

What's wrong with me?
Want to possess you,
God,
But what good would that do?

Away
Away
Away

How am I supposed to plan for the future when I'm doing all I can think to to escape this world?

I feel too deeply,
My heart is too raw and tender
I am vulnerable.
Maybe this isn't even a bad thing,
It's better than not feeling.
But my heart hurts, and I forget to live.
I forget to keep going,
And so I am set back.
But maybe the things I get set back in aren't even truly important to who I am
What I need to become
Where I'm meant to go.

Why do I feel so deeply?

I'm sensing a daily afternoon cycle. Starting between eleven and twelve, and ending who knows when.

What is going on?

God, what's going on?
What what
Why?
Please Help me to understand.

Two years ago I had an unidentifiable yearning, this year it found a word, "want", and lately it has become "I want out, I want out, I want out"

Afternoon tidal cycle
Waves creating and crashing
Going back out to sea
They're still there,
Just not in sight;
In mind.