This whole growing up thing is really weird. What to do when next year, life will probably not resemble what has been constant over the past eighteen years?
I have no idea where to begin, though I'm planning on taking a driving course with one or two of my other driving-age siblings next month.
Why not this month? The instructor I called doesn't hold a class in August, as most people are finishing up or going on vacations that month.
I've been told that it's crucial to get my GED, so I guess that's my next big step. Everyone says it's easy, but I still harbor small, whispering doubts... I don't have much confidence in myself or my abilities. I guess that's my biggest challenge in becoming a more or less independent adult, the fact that I'm quite self-doubting, at least in the ways of the world.
I'm thinking I can at least get my GED, get a job and save up for the next year after which maybe I can attend college. I don't know, I hate making plans. I've been planning on going to college "next year" since I was fourteen. Baha. Look at me now...
I have no idea where to begin, though I'm planning on taking a driving course with one or two of my other driving-age siblings next month.
Why not this month? The instructor I called doesn't hold a class in August, as most people are finishing up or going on vacations that month.
I've been told that it's crucial to get my GED, so I guess that's my next big step. Everyone says it's easy, but I still harbor small, whispering doubts... I don't have much confidence in myself or my abilities. I guess that's my biggest challenge in becoming a more or less independent adult, the fact that I'm quite self-doubting, at least in the ways of the world.
I'm thinking I can at least get my GED, get a job and save up for the next year after which maybe I can attend college. I don't know, I hate making plans. I've been planning on going to college "next year" since I was fourteen. Baha. Look at me now...
I find it helps to remember that most of the "grown up" people in the world are only pretending. :)
ReplyDeleteFollow through with your plan--then you'd end up going to college the same year as me!
I'm here to ask your patience in responding to you on all mediums. School's just started and everything's going crazy in a (somewhat) good but also... just crazy...way. I have so much to say to you, though! I hope I get to say it soon. Please don't worry about growing up; you'll make me nervous as well...
Haha, only pretending, how that does seem true... Maybe I'll never feel "grown up", and maybe that's a good thing :)
ReplyDeleteI've suspected as much, thank you for dropping me a line :) I hope things get at least a little less crazy for you soon.
I think you'll feel some inexplicable changes happening in the development of who you are, and you'll learn things about the world which are depressing and things which are absolutely wonderful, and you'll travel the world without boarding an airplane or a train and you'll travel your own mind and a hundred other minds and you'll have your heart broken and your heart repaired. And I think it will cause you great pain, and I think it will also give you great hope and happiness and a sense of powerful purpose and understanding. And somewhere in the midst of it all you'll look at yourself and you won't be able to find a name for all that's happened to you. So you'll grab at "grown up," before you remember this day, and remember who you are now, and will recognize that you're Bryn Burningham and always were Bryn Burningham and always will be Bryn Burningham and that's what's most important, and will leaving you feeling like you're at home no matter where you are and what you're doing and who other people say you are. But ultimately, it's what you choose that matters the most. :)
ReplyDeleteI replied to your email just now, and wanted to warn you a droned on a bit too much, then at the end predicted even more droning with my next email.